I haven’t fully written out Elliana’s birth story because I’ve just been so busy with both the girls, but while it’s some what fresh in my memory I thought I’d better; before I forget little details:
I was scheduled for an induction on the 7th of March. I could have come in a day before or a day after that but I chose the 7th because I knew she would come out the next day. I remember the night I had to say goodbye to Chloe as an only child, and the thought alone scared me more than ever. I was sad to have been separated from her. Never in her whole (almost two years at the time) life, had I spent the night away from her. I’m not sure she cared, or even knew what was going on to be honest. She was taken care of by my sister, so she was probably happier than ever. Erick and I ate dinner with my family; we had tacos (delish!), then we were on our way.
We were scheduled to come into the hospital at 8 pm, but the doors were locked, so we had to come through the emergency to walk upstairs. Walking up with all our pillows and blankets, I was excited and so nervous at the same time. My labor with Chloe hadn’t gone supppper well, so I had reoccurring memories that this time would be the same, if not, worse.
We got checked into the room we would be “sleeping” in and I made a face time call to home to see my little baby before she was no longer my little baby.. I gave all my information and IVs settled in and was ready to start this whole process. I kept trying to have a positive mind and tell myself that “I HAVE to do all of this in order to see her” and I wanted her BAAAD. I was so excited I couldn’t sleep, and I hadn’t felt too bad of contractions yet. I shut off the TV around midnight. As I laid there, trying to tell myself to get some rest for the big day ahead of me, I just couldn’t for some reason. Every time I would start to fall into a nice sleep, I had to pee. And every time I got up to pee, the monitors that were kept on me would move and lose Ellies heartbeat. And every time the monitors lost her heart beat, the nurses had to come in and re adjust me. It was a never-ending process… except when it ended.
Around 4 am I was having contractions that I could NOT sleep through.. at this moment, I knew it was time to ask for that epidural. My contractions were less than a minute apart and I couldn’t catch my breath between them.. The nurses had me gather my belongings and we started to head down the hall. Mind you the hallway is only a couple of feet and it took me a couple of minutes to make it.
I watched the sun rise that morning, knowing this would be the day my sweet little would be coming into the world.
Even though I asked for my epidural at 4:15ish, I didn’t get it until almost 9am. I had to be re set up into a different room, and the anesthesiologist took FORFUCKINGEVER.. When he did come into the room, I was in the worst pain I have ever felt. He asked me to sit up and lean over a pillow on my bedside table, Erick held my hands and the needle was inserted. During my heavy breathing while having contractions, this needle felt like it was going slower than ever. I didn’t feel the cold sensation I was hoping for and I knew something wasn’t right. the Dr. said to give it a couple of minutes.. But I remember the feeling from last time, and it was not it. I waited a couple of minutes and nothing happened, still the worst pains ever. I asked for him to come back in and mentioned that I had been sitting lopsided. I asked to remove the extra pillow under one of my butt cheeks. He stuck me again with a needle as the contractions got worse and everything felt more painful. I squeezed Erick’s arms harder than I thought I ever could. This time.. THIS TIME, I knew it had worked because I felt the sensation I was hoping for the last time. While all of this was happening, Erick’s mom was on her way to this hospital. To be honest, I didn’t want anyone in the room but I thought (later finding out she has) she had never seen one of her grandchildren born. I’m glad she was there though. I was feeling great at this time, the nurses told me to get some rest. Mind you, I hadn’t eaten since dinner the previous night around 6pm and I can hear my stomach growling but could barely feel it. I asked Erick to put “Jack Johnson” Pandora on so I could relax.. I was so exhausted that every time I started to fall into a deep sleep, I thought that I was going to die… Literally, I thought that I was seeing the light through my eyelids and that my body was so peaceful, I was floating. Erick told me I was talking crazy, but after those couple of times, I was too scared to fall asleep. I had to see my baby before I “went”. The nurses kept coming in to check how far along i was, and every time they told me “one more hour”. Finally, the hours were up and it was time for her to come, only one problem., she wasn’t facing the right way. She WAS head down but facing the window. Maybe she just wanted a view when she came out.. So, the stuck a peanut shaped exercise ball between my thighs until I was ready to start pushing.
The nurse that was with me this whole morning had just gotten off her lunch, RIGHT before I started pushing. And my midwife was nowhere to be found, until my second push, she came running into the room. I was laying on my side when I delivered Ellie, I guess there wasn’t much time to turn over to my back. Erick held one of my legs up and I felt all her crevasses come out as I pushed. I felt her head, then her shoulders, then her hips and finally she just sort of fell out the rest of the way. I honestly just felt a bunch of pressure this time around. With Chloe, I felt every stretch and tear, EVERYTHING; like I didn’t even get the epidural. Both times, I felt like giving up, like all the pushes weren’t doing anything and they would never come out. And both times, the moment I felt like it was the end of my strength, they came out seconds later. I cried my eyes out when she was here. She was purple and gross… but that would never stop me from kissing her all over. I looked at her face, her hands, her legs and her little toes. I created this, I grew this and I delivered this. This beautiful human. At this moment, I was a mother of two beautiful little girls. I remember saying “Thank you, God!” and just remembering how lucky I am to have had no serious complications. The first set of visitors other than Erick’s mom, was big sister Chloe, my sister, dad and step-mom. I think Chloe was more excited to see her grandma and her little sister, but when Erick’s mom brought Chloe over to see Ellie. Chloe’s first reaction was “awwwwwh” as she sat Chloe next to me on the bed. This feeling is still so indescribable.. These are my daughters, such a weird feeling.
After I gave birth this time, I bled more than the first time and felt more crampy; but overall I felt better. I wasn’t sore or anything really, I could walk and I took a shower. I did keep bleeding though, so they were a little concerned. I ended up not needed a blood transfusion that they mentioned a couple of times. All in all this was a great delivery. I was in labor for 18 hours and pushed for 10 mins… At 2:49 PM, weighing in at 8 pounds and 6 ounces, we finally got to meet Elliana Moné face to face. I am so in love with this little baby, I was once so scared to love.